![]() The Sucker’s Choice is a dilemma in which you feel like there are only two opposing options and by choosing one, you can’t have the other. After you find the root cause of the problem and re-focus on what you really want, it becomes easier to avoid the dreaded Sucker’s Choice. Stepping back to reevaluate my true purpose for the conversation helped re-focus our group on a shared purpose, and helped create an entirely new solution.Īvoid the Sucker’s Choice. With that information, I went back to my colleague and the client and proposed a new, alternate approach that reduced the number of reports we submit by half and removed the most error-prone section. I went to the original contract, re-read the actual requirements, and checked what else we were providing to the client. After several meetings, I finally stopped and asked myself: What do I really need in this situation? I realized I needed three things: 1) To meet contractual obligations, 2) to meet client desires, and 3) to minimize time to complete the reports. We had different opinions about what would be clearest, and weren’t finding any effective middle-ground solution. ![]() For example, a colleague and I were recently discussing the best way to show expenditures on a monthly report. My colleagues have probably heard me ask in meetings, “What is the real problem we are trying to solve?” It’s easy to become focused on the symptoms of a problem or the most urgent items, but not the underlying root issue. The pivotal perspective change for me involved four key concepts that I’ve paraphrased here:įocus on what you really want. With opposing opinions, it’s easy for each side to have a different interpretation of the facts and to see the critical issues differently. When all three of those factors are present in a conversation and it turns crucial, it’s important to start with dialogue and work to create a shared understanding of the issue. Over 10 years ago, I had an opportunity to attend a training on the book Crucial Conversations. I found the content completely changed my approach to handling difficult conversations, and, more broadly, to problem solving within teams.Ī crucial conversation, simply put, is a discussion where stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong. Written by: Amy Hein, Director of Scientific Workforce
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